[pullquote]”I don’t want to think about it, but I do…”[/pullquote]
“He shouldn’t have said that!”
“Does she even know what I am going through!”
“How can someone be so selfish”…
May be there are days and nights that we have spent ruminating over an undesirable incident. With our brain in spite of ourselves enacting a particular scene again and again.
“How do we let go of that thought?” The more we try to let go of, the more we get entangled in it. Like an itch that has a semblance of relief when scratched but deep within is only making it worse…
How do we deal with such episodes in our life? How do we let go? If mental resolve to let go of something worked, then why do we persist on this struggle? Being rational why does the mind do it? What makes it to go on thinking about an undesirable experience, manufacturing more and more pain? Trying to stay afloat in water needs effort, no doubts about that! But have you tried to see how much of an effort it is to remain at the depths of a water body?
Its the same, the more this undesirable thought is popping up in our mind and the more we are trying to repress it. And the more we try to fight it, the worse it will get.
Sweeping everything below the carpet is not the solution either. If not for now, we will have to come back to working on it someday.
“What resists, persists!”
Rationalizing is all the more dangerous, as its like trying to wriggle out of quick sand. The more we do it, the deeper we it sucks us.
May I present to you these 4 steps which can help you:-
1. Accept what has happened
EFT can help in doing this! These feelings are like a weeping baby that craves for attention. The more we try to silence it harshly, the worse the situation will get. Fondle the feeling as you would a weeping baby. Forgive yourself as much as you would like to forgive the other person.
2. Distraction can help!
Too much of emphasis has been given on concentration. However I believe that both concentration and distraction have a utility. If concentration is like a sharp knife, it can also cut us as efficiently if not used in the right way. 2 mins of distraction into a game or what ever is of interest to you, when ever “that” thought arises can help.
3. Physical exercise.
People who work-out are already trained in observing the body and mind. The physical exercise will ensure a sound sleep which will help resetting the mind.
Hope these help and if there is any method that you apply in such situations, feel free to share them.
4. One sentence Journal.
Primarily the goal is to ensure that you vent out your emotions for the day. Keeping it short encourages you to write. It can become a dumping ground of our feelings, or a way to let go of the emotions and most importantly a good way to track progress.
You can for example, write one thing that you learnt today. If you are learning to build your shattered self-esteem, you could may be record a victory of the day in it.
Always remember to pen down, “A dull pencil is better than a sharp mind”. It seems to be a “cute” idea, but is extremely powerful. Give it a try and see it for yourself. I would love to hear from you.
I sincerely hope that this helps. Feel free to add your methods in the comments below!